arusha

i am writing this in an internet cafe in arusha, tanzania and the man sitting next to me smells like really foil BO. it's good to know im still in africa!

on tuesday around noon Lauren and i had to say goodbye to Suzanne and Randy and their four dogs, Eston, Cecelia and Wanjoi, and to the beautiful house that has been our home for the past 5 weeks. it was really sad actually. The Whitfield have so openly invited us into their homes and into their lives, i feel a part the family. i was starting to understand things about life in Nanyuki. it is weird because after 5 weeks, no not even 5 weeks because 2 of them we spent either up the mountain or at Lake Turkana, so more like 3 weeks. anyway, in the time we were there with this house and this town and the people i was coming into contact with every day had started to make sense in the way only feeling at home can make sense. it's not to say i felt totally comfortable with life as a white girl living in kenya, but it does mean most certainly that i was beginning to expect things to happen the way they do. i expect that there will be 25 people in the matatu I take home from town, instead of the 14 that there are seats for; I expect to be convinced of what I want at markets; I expect to be ripped off by at least 100%; I expect to find a TV with a world cup match on at all times of every day no matter how remote the village is.

I cannot really describe what I’m feeling about this country right now. Mostly because I can see the little clock ticking away the minutes I have till my time runs out on this computer.

This country is incredible. It is so beautiful and it is so different. There are so many parts to it and I have managed to see a lot of them. By no means have I seen close to all of what is Kenya, not even a fraction, but I have seen a lot of difference. I got to experience the wilderness and the physical difficulty of climbing the second highest peak in Africa; and I got to see parts of the north that cannot be seen unless you drive for days on deserted bumpy, practically nonexistent roads. And I got to see remote villages. At one village in Kalacha I was, I’m quite sure, the first white person this one baby had ever seen. He was completely horrified to see my pale face. Like was saying before, going on the safari was a necessity because we could not have seen those places without the planning of gametrackers. It was touristy. 100%. But there’s no getting around it. And now, after feeling like my hand was being held my the safari company, and even at times by the sheer fact that I knew people in Nanyuki, now I am totally free, and anonymous.

I am completely alone with Lauren. We are walking around this town and we are staying in a hotel (which is really nice and costing us $20), and we are eating wherever we want and we are doing whatever we want and going to stores and being free in a place where no one, literally no one, knows our names. And it is the most incredible feeling.

But to give some history and some explanation to why we are here and what we are doing. First of all, we flew on Tuesday from Nanyuki to Nairobi and then took a taxi with Louisa back to her house, where we were before way back when we had first got to Kenya. We all went out for a night on the town with Louisa and her really great friend Derek. We went to a couple of places, one called Casa Blanca, which was covered with these couches and beds and cushions, danced there, but the place was filled with quite honestly the dorkiest people I have ever met. One guy was actually from Waltham, MA. He was mid 30s. came up to my chest, was fat, and danced like a monkey. Not kidding about that at all. So the people were a bit strange there, but after all it was a Tuesday night. Watched the game (Ghana vs. Brazil) and of course rooted for Ghana along with everyone else in the bar, because they were the only Africa team still in it, and become as thoroughly depressed about their loss as every other African on the continent. All I’m saying is that Brazil didn’t deserve to win.

Anyways, we spent yesterday recovering. And also doing some errands and seeing a bit of the city. We woke up this morning to a cab at 6am. Got in a bus that took us to Arusha. So now comes the part where I relay the most coincidental piece of happenings in the entire universe:

There were once 2 young girls who were walking down the mountain on their last day and were lucky enough to be picked up by a very nice chameleon hunter named Jan who was doing research in Africa. These two girls, a few weeks later, were drinking coffee at the airstrip when said chameleon hunter Jan was spotted driving into the airstrip parking lot. They all laughed about seeing each other again and had some coffee together. A few weeks later, after the girls had been to lake turkana, they were about to get into a bus headed for Arusha Tanzania, when who should walk up but Jan, our chameleon hunter friend!

So I would like for someone to please calculate the odds of this happening. anyway, Jan was on our bus here and he helped us find a nice hotel and we are watching the game with him tonight in 1 hour.

We drove from Nairobi to Arusha and left Kenya behind and now we are in Tanzania where everything has an extra zero added to its price tag (the Kenya shilling is stronger than the Tanzania one), and where there are a few other, quite marked, differences that we have noticed. We are staying here only the night, tomorrow we are getting on a plane and going to paradise. Also known as the island of Zanzibar. We will stay ion Zanzibar for 4 nights total, 2 in town and 2 on the coastal beaches where we will go snorkeling! Then we’ll fly back to the Arusha airport and fly to Amsterdam and then HOME! So that means that we have 5 more nights in Africa including tonight, plus one that we lose during flying…crazy. sad. exciting!

Lauren and I dropped out bags off in our room and went looking for food. We walked outside wearing what we’ve been wearing for the past 5 weeks, dresses we bought at matumba for $1. stepping outside into this new town suddenly I felt like I was naked. It was incredible. The dress I wore was not short at all, in fact it comes down to my calf, and it isn't low either. the only thing is that it has thin straps. I really have no idea if it was what I was wearing a dress or if its just that I’m white, but I have never felt so starred at, in just a provocative, incessant way as I was on our walk to get food. We turned around and put on new clothes. The stares lessoned, but not did not stop by any means.

I find myself in a moment of confusion. On the one hand I feel as though I have been here long enough so that I know what I will expect each day. I feel comfortable for the most part and I feel as if this could be a home, in some form or other (obviosuly that might sound rediculous to some, i mean i've only been here over a month, but it is honestly the truth about how i feel). on the other hand are the people who are actually African. And no matter how happy and comfortable I might think I am, they will never see me as more than an invasive presence, a means to earn or steal money, or a piece of ass. So I have this opposition between what I feel and what every one else sees and feels. I can never break beyond that mold. I really don’t think I ever could. Even Suzanne isn’t a part of Nanyuki’s uniform every day life. she has been there long enough that people know who she is and therefore her presence isn’t strange anymore, but still, she is not just another customer like everyone else.

I wonder if it is ever possible to become part of the fabric that is the culture of this country.