9 more things about India

1) On the newest 1 rupee coin is printed a hand giving the thumbs up. On the 2 rupee coin is printed a hand giving the peace sign. There are lightshows in everything here, even in government institutions, like coinage. By this I mean that someon had to say, "Hey I have a great idea, let's put the thumbs up and peace sign on our money!" and everyone agreed.

2) Entire families ride on one motorcycle through overcrowded streets. By this, I mean: the father drives, the mother sits behind him, holding a tiny baby in her arms. Between them is a girl sleeping smushed between her parents. And sometimes, there's even another person behind the mother. This is a regular motorcycle, no bigger than any we have in the US. OR one bike with 4 grown men on it, sometimes sitting backwards to keep from falling off.

3) When I get a package here, it comes after a long time of course. When it finally reaches my hands it looks like it's been through a war. It is falling apart, and the tape is coming off. In fact, there is a stamp on it that reads "Examined" and "Free." So, at some point, my package was opened up, examined, shifted through, put back together, but then instead of re-taping it, they tie it up with knotted rope. Then (for quality purposes? security purposes?) they drip melted wax or tar (more likely tar) and stamp it over the rope--old school letter style. So I get my package and it is devastated, and and it has been tied up in rope, and each side of rope has a tar seal on it...COOL

4) The amazing names of stores (like Light and Lights), mistaken words on menus (like pouched eggs), and unbelievable pictures of terrifyingly happy children, etc.

5) The entire experience of going to the movie theater here. Movie theaters in Hyderabad are like being transported to the US but only partially. 4 or 5 floors, with subways and maybe even pizza!! and coffee and cookies and ice cream. And now it gets good: a rock climbing wall. and a check your blood pressure, your sugar levels, and your mood machines. and an LG retail store. and a Haunted House (which reads: This is a copyrighted haunted institution, on the sign). The process of ordering food, also deserves a note here. Instead of just going up to order what you want, you have to go to the other side of the room to order with the cashier and pay him. Then another man gives you your ticket and you bring it over to the other side where the food is and you hand one man the ticket, and he yells out to another man, who comes and takes the ticket. And then he gives it to the actual food man, who gets what you want, who brings it to the first man at the food counter who gives it to you. We are all convinced that this whole process is somehow a combination of two factors. One, it is efficient ONLY in the sense that it is all very organized, yet goes so far in such a classically overachieving Indian way that it all falls apart. And two, it gives more people more jobs...

6) Our adventures with ordering coffee at Cafe Coffee Day, which is a chain coffee store in India. First of all, we order 3 black coffees and 2 vegan shakes. On the menu it says: black coffee: double shot of espresso with hot water, with milk on the side; and it reads, vegan shake: milk not your thing? no problem with our non-dairy shake. So she brings us 3 espresso shots with no milk, and (get this) iced coffe with whipped cream and ice cream as the vegan shakes. So we say, these are supposed to not have milk. and she says, "o they don't have milk. they have whipped cream" oh ok. and our coffees, "no we don't have black coffee, we only have espresso shots and no you can't get milk with it" BUT IT'S A COFFEE SHOP! thanks India!!

7) KOPPHEECHAIIII KOPPHEEECHAIIII. This is what train sellers say in a nazalized voice ALL 27 hours of the train ride. This means: Coffee (which has morphed into kop-heee) and Chai (tea) together. loudly. all the time. they are trying to sell coffee and tea.

8) Hot tea in 95 degree weather

9) Adorable things that professors say by accident or mistranslated. Like, "give me a little tinkle" (call him in the phone), "the phenomenon of the hugging of the trees" (for tree-huggers), and suitable pronounced "sweetable"